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Thread: Averting The Irish - French War

  1. #1
    stevew is offline Post whore with no life, no friends, and a problem fitting into normal social circles Expert
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    Talking Averting The Irish - French War

    Jacques Chirac, The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

    "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy Down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

    "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

    Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"

    Chirac paused. "I must tell you Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command."

    "Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

    Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!

    "And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Chirac asks.

    "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.

    Chirac sighs, amused; "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to
    150,000 since we last spoke."

    "Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

    Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!"

    Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My Military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
    since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

    "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."

    Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

    "Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

    "Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and decided there is no ****in' way we can feed 200,000 FRENCH prisoners."

  2. #2
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    Hahahahaha It's the way ya tell 'um

  3. #3
    stevew is offline Post whore with no life, no friends, and a problem fitting into normal social circles Expert
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    Quote Originally Posted by barabus
    Hahahahaha It's the way ya tell 'um
    more like "the way ya cut and paste 'um"

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